Compersion, the answer you’ve been looking for.

“Compersion is our wholehearted participation in the happiness of others.” — Marie Thouin PhD, Jealousy and Compersion in Open Relationships

In a world where jealousy often takes center stage in narratives about relationships, there lies an underrated, transformative emotion: called compersion. It’s defined as the genuine joy that is felt when witnessing someone else’s happiness, especially in the context of their connections with others. Compersion is a game-changer for any type of human connection, including romantic partnerships, friendships, and family bonds.

What’s compersion"?

"Compersion is often called the 'opposite of jealousy.' It's about deriving joy from seeing another person's joy.”— PsychCentral

Instead of feeling threatened or insecure when someone you care about forms connections with other humans, compersion allows you to experience delight in their joy. To be clear, it’s absolutely not about suppressing natural feelings of insecurity. It’s about shifting your focus towards genuine happiness for another’s fulfillment.

In romantic relationships

"Compersion is a combination of pleasant thoughts and feelings you may experience towards your partner when they are in a positive romantic or sexual relationship with someone else." — Marie Thouin PhD, Jealousy and Compersion in Open Relationships

In romantic contexts, compersion fosters emotional security and deep trust. Imagine feeling happiness when your partner thrives independently, cultivates meaningful friendships, or even finds joy in other romantic connections.

Might seem crazy, but this mindset can enhance emotional intimacy. Knowing that your partner celebrates your happiness unconditionally builds a deeper connection by creating a space for trust and support. That sense of unwavering support also encourages personal growth, as both partners feel free, and safe, to pursue their passions.

It also reduce possessiveness, a huge issue for most of us trying so hard to feel safe while committing to emotional bonds. Relationships thrive when they’re based on mutual growth rather than control.

Among friends

Friendships also flourish with compersion. Instead of feeling left out when a friend forms new bonds, you can choose to celebrate their expanding social circle. This strengthens your existing bonds, as friendship isn’t a zero-sum game. Joy multiplies when shared. Practicing compersion with friends, you learn to appreciate your unique place in a friend’s life without comparison – fostering emotional maturity.

In families (biological and chosen)

In families, compersion can ease rivalries or generational tensions. Parents can practice compersion by celebrating a child’s achievements without projecting personal expectations. Siblings can find joy in each other's successes, reducing competition and fostering lifelong support.

How can you cultivate compersion?

"Compersion is definitely a learnable feeling." — PsychCentral

It probably doesn’t surprise you to hear that compersion doesn’t come naturally to most, but it is a skill that can be nurtured,

Practicing mindfulness and self-reflection helps you understand your triggers for jealousy, as they often stem from personal insecurities, rather than external threats. This cal also help you reframe your mindset and shift from “What am I losing?” to “What are they gaining?”

Practicing gratitude helps you focus on the positive aspects of your relationships.

And open communication – vulnerability discussing feelings honestly with your partners, friends, or family – fosters understanding.

No need to subscribe to the idea, just play with it

Compersion isn’t about erasing jealousy but offering an alternative narrative. It’s a radical act of love, not just for others but for yourself. By choosing to celebrate the happiness of those around you, you create relationships rooted in trust, freedom, and authentic connection.

In a world often fueled by comparison and competition, compersion invites us to lean more fruitfully into joy, connection, and the infinite abundance and availability of love.